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Legend has it that in ancient Japan, an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her. Basically, they seem to have been saying, "If you're going to take it from a man other than your husband, you're going to get it from everyone else." Some say it comes from the practice of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and bukkake is a "kinder, gentler" chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true, "bukkake" became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s, grew in popularity, and now if you type "bukkake" into yahoo, you're likely to get several dozen sites, even if you don't spell it right. You're also likely to get grossed out, unless you enjoy looking at photos of young women with faces covered with what looks like gobs of mucous, spilt curdled milk or what it "really" is--fresh semen.

So much for porn. Let's move on to obscenity: "Shock and Awe." Sounds kind of sexy, like what we feel when we watch a dazzling display of fireworks or when we experience a mind-blowing orgasm. Except the Pentagon isn't talking about that nice, ecstatic, one-with-the-universe kind of Shock and Awe. They're talking about horrific, "nearly incomprehensible levels of massively destructive," end-of-the-universe kind of Shock and Awe. They're talking about unleashing almost 4000 odd bombs and missiles, possibly including the new nuclear "bunker busters" and 21,000 pound MOABs (Massive Ordnance Air Blast aka "the Mother of All Bombs-- Eat My Spooge, Hussein the Insane!) in the first 48 hours of an attack. That's roughly twice the number used in the entire 39 days of the first Gulf War.

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Itīs the fourth quarter in the Cockfight at the Baghdad Corral, and Saddam is winning, mainly because Dubya is losing. The biggest peace demonstrations in the history of the world and a virtually anti-war United Nations have shown Americaīs President to be a dickless oaf, at least asian blowjobs as far as diplomacy goes, unable (as of this 3.10.03 writing) to persuade even Turkey to be our whore for 15 billion bucks in baksheesh.

Of course, everyone agrees that Saddam has shown himself to be a bukkake dickhead. But weīve known that for two decades, ever since he asian blowjobs gassed some of his Iranian neighbors and about 100,000 inconvenient Kurds, all with U.S. support, America and Iraq being bukkake asshole buddies at the time. Saddam did invade Kuwait without being provoked so he could take their oil. And even though the U.S. is about to defy the United Nations asian blowjobs and invade Iraq without being provoked for the purpose of taking their oil, two wrongs donīt make a right - bukkake?

Still, the Baghdad Butcher has trumped the Sadistic Shrub in the International Corral of Cockfighting Diplomacy. Mostly through shutting his mouth, opening his prisons (while the U.S. keeps asian blowjobs over 2 million people in ours) , destroying his weapons (albeit with some wistfulness; he loves those Al-Samoud missiles like I cherish my favorite dildos) , and begging us to give peace a chance, Saddam has brilliantly made his case that heīs no worse than your typical 21st century evil asian blowjobs despot and considerably less well-armed. And besides, what about all those innocent Iraqi people who didnīt vote for Saddam any more than Americans elected our President?

Which brings us back to the Bushman and his embarrassingly flaccid diplomatic cocksmanship. Though heīs tried like the dickens to get the world asian blowjobs to buy his War on Saddam (and weīre paying!) , he has failed to get it up internationally. He can barely bribe our allies and devastatingly poor little countries to get on board with us. Even his pal Putin is dissinī the Shrubīs shortcomings.

 

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